Wednesday, January 4, 2012

MENDING A BROKEN HEART


Hello everyone.  First of all, I want to thank everyone who has enquired about my well being and
offered a supportive shoulder for me to cry on over the past week or so.  It's meant so very much to
me and is what has brought me back to my blog in hopes of it possibly turning into a wonderful
career opportunity for me some day.

I feel it's time to explain why I have been absent from blogging for so long and left so
abruptly.  It's so very difficult for me to even write this... tears are flowing as I do...
My husband of 24 years... my high school sweetheart... the love of my life... has decided to
divorce me.  Words cannot express how completely devastated I am by the whole thing.  No matter
how difficult problems in our marriage became, I always thought we would work through them and
be together until our dying days.  I am both emotionally and financially broken.

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while are aware of the fact that I've been a
stay-at-home mom for the past 12 years, which also means I have been out of the work force for
12 years.  We live in a poor economic area where jobs are hard to come by to begin with, let alone
for someone in my circumstances.  I'm terrified of what life is about to become for me and my
daughters.  My heart breaks most at the thought of everything our daughters are going to lose and
all of the heartache and hardship they're going to have to endure.

And so, I am appealing to all of you... my blogger friends... to keep me in mind if you know of any
job opportunities or have any suggestions as to how I could bring extra money in through my blog.
I would be so grateful for any advice you have to offer.

I am determined, no matter what, to overcome this horrible situation for my daughters' sake and
for mine. We will get through this somehow, taking each day as they come.

I have a lot on my plate right now and don't know when I'll be able to start blogging regularly
again.  Maybe I'll try to put out one post a week that I can put together each weekend and see
how that works out for me.

I do hope that you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  I wish all of you
every happiness life has to offer in 2012 and always.

'Til next time...

~ Jo


P.S.  Thank you so much for all of your supportive comments and
for keeping me and my daughters in your thoughts and prayers.  It
means so very much to me... more than you'll ever know. 

174 comments:

  1. Jo, I had a 20 year marriage and went through a divorce and am now in a completely different and better place in life. I know it is not the same, but I had to e a single mom to take care of 3 sons and it was quite difficult at times. But you can get through it and move on to better times ahead. our daughters will do well if you are ok, happy mom=happy children for the most part, so try to focus on yourself.

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  2. I've been thinking about you a whole bunch ever since we spoke the other day. I'm going to send you an email. Hugs to you ♥

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  3. Dear Jo, just want you to know that you are in my prayers. I know that God can sustain you thru this. You're such a lovely and talented person, please know we all care about you! xoxo

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  4. Jo- I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I am sending you love, hugs, and good thoughts your way. You will come through all of this shining brightly. Sending you an email. Hugs, Courtney

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  5. I can not begin to know your pain and heartbreak, but I know the One who does. Lean not on your own understanding, dearheart. As to career opportunities through your blog... What about design services and consultations online. I love your style and am sure others would like you to help them create the look. Also, think outside the box, perhaps you have another talent to market like organizing, crafting,etc.
    As a mom who wanted to be able to drop off my kids at school and pick them up, I have been cleaning homes. Not everyones idea of work, but it has worked wonderfully for me.
    I am keeping you in my thoughts. Keep your chin up!!

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  6. I´m a still reader of your beautiful blog from germany.
    I feel so sorry for you. 24 years is such a long time and I thought in this time partners are growing together. I´m married since 4 years and husband and I have difficulties too but we know only together we are strong and only together we can fight for our goals.
    What can I write to support you? Maybe a job as a childminder (is it the right word?) in your home is the solution?
    You are so talented, maybe you can work as an interior designer? And can sell shabby chic?

    I wish you and your daughters all my best for the future and hope everything is tunring out well.
    I think of you,

    Tanja from germany

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  7. My heart goes out to you, in sadness but also in support.

    I cannot imagine what you are going through as I have not experienced this myself.
    I hope that you have some good legal advice.
    Here in Canada wives are entitled to half of everything regardless of whether they are in the workforce or stay at home moms. Stay at home moms here get support until they are finished retraining or schooling which allows them to get a job and support themselves and child support is given until the children are of legal age.

    I do know that you will find the strength to carry on and perhaps you might find it here in the blogosphere.

    If I might be so bold as to suggest that you look into a career in photography as your images are beautiful in style and form.
    I for one would be more than happy to purchase art cards with your photos on them or a book of your cottage images.
    Your blog could have a link where we could shop the Secret Garden cottage...

    I hope that you are able to pop in and keep us all posted as to how you are doing.

    Hugs from the Hostess
    XO

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  8. Bless your heart, dear Jo, I don't even know what to say except that I will pray for you. Many years ago I experienced the devastation of divorce, I remember what it did to my heart and my children's hearts. For us, it was the best thing I could have done, but that doesn't mean it is for you and yours. Sending good thoughts, prayers and love your way, ((((Hugs)))) Cindy

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  9. I'm sorry sweet Jo......My heart goes out to you and your girls and I will pray for you all....Sending warm thoughts and wishes your way dear friend....Xoxo ~Ashley

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  10. A year and a half ago my husband of 12 years, my high school sweetheart whom I thought I had the perfectly perfect relationship with broke my heart. It forever changed our relationship. I panicked and didn't know what I was going to do. I too have been a stay at home mom with no real skills to support myself or our two girls. I completely and totally understand where you are right now.
    Fortunately for me ,we worked things out and have a good relationship again. However I am not the same. I think more about myself and I am no longer comfortable depending on him. I'm going back to school to education myself in a manor so that I can provide well enough for my kids should I ever have too. I think it was a huge mistake to put so much of myself aside to help him achieve his goals.
    I know this is a hard time to think this way , but ask yourself who it is that you want to be in this story? Do you want to be the Victim or the survivor? Now is the time to reinvent yourself and reclaim your dreams. What would you do with your life if you could do anything? It's never too late to be who you could have been.
    Best wishes. Ann

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  11. You are not alone. Many of us are going through similar trials. I have been suffering a broken heart in my own marriage for over 10 yrs now. I just read in Psalm 51 yesterday, "My sacrifice God, is a broken heart..." this helped me to see my broken heart in a different way. It encouraged me not to continue living in the pain of the brokenness. I have been 'letting go' for several months now and have found peace and happiness. The restoration will come. It also reminds me that for now I have purpose and to keep giving, doing, loving. Fear and worry have hindered me the most. They both make me physically sick. But I am overcoming them. I am still married...he says he still loves me, so there is hope.

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  12. I feel so sorry for you. I hope you find a way to get a money income. Look at your blog. You make fantastic photos, and your decorating is just amazing. There must be a way you can use your talent for an income. Many shops need some with your talent. You also have a ocean of beautiful photos you could use in a decoration book. Maybe I fly high, but I think you can make something out of it.
    Hope you stay strong and everything goes good for you.

    Hugs and hugs from Bente

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  13. I just wanted to say that The Lord works in mysterious ways, I too have been in your shoes, and, He always will find a way for you and your daughters. Be strong and lean on the lord, he will get you through it!! Rhonda

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  14. Jo, my heart goes out to you. I can't even fathom what you are going through. But I do know that the Lord is in control. He has a perfect plan for your life, and loves you more deeply than any human ever could. He sees your broken heart and wants to hold it and mend it for you. I believe that the grace and peace of God is the only way to truly heal from something like this, because he offers the peace that passes understanding through his Son Jesus Christ. I will be praying for you and your girls that your hearts would be mended and the damage repaired. I'll pray that God opens miraculous doors for you in your career and new life path. You're not alone! God will never leave you or forsake you, and it looks like you have some pretty good friends in the blog world too.

    As far as the job thing goes, could you open an etsy shop to sell vintage wares or some sort of handmade goods? As the others have mentioned, your style is beautiful, and I'm sure you would do well at that kind of thing. If you decide to go this route and make handmade goods, I would offer to buy them wholesale from you and sell them in a shop I'm helping to open this spring. I know that seems odd to offer, but I was trying to think of anything I could do to help, so I thought I'd at least mention it.

    I'll be praying for you! I wish you and your girls all the best and a fresh start from here on out.

    May God bless you!
    Courtney

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  15. I am so sorry to hear of your situations. I will definitely keep you and your daughters in my thoughts and prayers. Could you possible start a dog walking service, housecleaning, tutoring, childcare, open an on-line store, work for a gardening center. Please hang on to the fact (and I truly believe this), When God closes a door somewhere he opens a window. Good luck,
    Jeanette

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  16. Oh Jo...I am so sorry!! My heart is aching for you right now and I am in tears for you! I can't even begin to imagine what you are experiencing and it is so heartbreaking to hear. Please know that our awesome God will sustain you, he will bottle your tears and he will love you through this time.

    Part of a devotion that I ready today seems appropriate, " Refuse to be downcast. Refuse to be checked in your upward climb. Love and laugh. I am with you. I bear your burdens. Cast your burden upon me and I WILL sustain thee."

    MANY prayers are with you Jo...please know that we love you and are praying for Gods comfort in your heart during this difficult time.
    Hugs~
    Sandi@WaysideTreasures

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  17. There are no words to express how sorry I am for your loss. My sister in law had her husband walk out on her 5 years ago, she has never been the same and she let him have all of her confidence. Don't give him yours - be proud of who you are a woman, a mother and a creator. I am not sure if it is of any help, but I came across this link today and I think it ties in well with your style.

    http://www.parisiennefarmgirlmagazine.com/p/writers-photographers-wanted.html

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  18. Jo, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I understand how you are feeling, and what you are up against. I went through a divorce where I was equally financially devastated as you are now. Just remember that if you ask God for help and trust that he will give you what you need when you need it, you will make it through. There are a lot of people who are willing to pay for advertising on your blog. Many people make their livings this way. You can also create and sell things on sites like etsy. Like I said, you and your daughters will be in my thoughts and prayers. Micki

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  19. My prayers and thoughts go out to you. I hope you can find employment soon. My husband just recently found a job after a year and a half. You seem to be very talented with your blog, I'm sure someone is looking for your skills.

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  20. I'm so sorry. Your heart has to be broken. I don't have any advice, wish I did. But sending you ((((((HUGS))))). I don't know if you follow, Brenda's Cozy Little House or Dottie Red but both have had similar heart breaks. They both are doing extremly well. I admire both of them. Dottie has two young boys and lives across the pond. Good luck.

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  21. Jo...I am so very sorry to hear this. Please know (and count on) my keeping you and your daughters in my prayers.

    Sending you my thoughts and a hug,
    Barb

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  22. I am so very sorry, prayers for you and your children.

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  23. Dear Jo, my heart goes out to you at this devastating and horribly unsettling time. I'm so glad you're determined to stay strong for yourself and your daughters - your daughters and you will become closer and they will learn a lot from how you handle adversity. You are incredibly talented. I hope you find work that makes the most of your talents to ease the financial strains.

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  24. Jo, you are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this life changing time. I love your attitude though! I hope you find employment soon and your financial stress is relieved! Happy New Year to you and I wish you the best!! HUGS to you!

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  25. Jo, I am sorry for your breaking heart. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. I pray that you and your daughters will get through this difficult time as you start a new beginning. God will give you the strength to get through this, you need only to ask Him.

    (((HUGS)))
    Danielle

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  26. Dear Jo,
    My sister had the same thing happen after 30 yrs. She had been with him since she was 16. She was heart broken and hung on for dear life. Lots of pain and anger. It has been 3yrs now and she has met some one new, she did not think this was possible....my sister is a chunky girl, something her husband constantly rode her about. He told her no one would want her. This could not be farther from the truth. She is warm hearted and kind and loving. She now is with a man who adores her the way she is and sees her great qualities. I see her believing in herself again. Each marriage is different, but sometimes things turn out for the best. That is hard to believe at this time I am sure. Stay strong! You have lots of people praying for you!
    Hugs,
    Donna

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  27. I am so very sorry Jo ... my heart knows too how yours is breaking and I wish I could take it all away for you. Right now I'm sure it doesn't feel this way but you will come out on the other side. This shall pass, the tears shall pass. You need to mourn what was and then live again....the next chapter of your life.You will.

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  28. Oh Jo, my heart is aching for you, sweetie. Just know that my prayers are for God to send you strength and peace at this tough time in your life. He's close to those with a broken heart. Please let me know if I could do anything. anything at all. All of us here in blogland are sending our love and hugs your way. We can all help you through.

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  29. Dear Jo.
    My heart is upholding you in prayer.
    When life takes a sudden turn, and involves loss, we as (mothers or) women can go into overdrive, planning to be superwoman for our very survival.
    This is my comfort to you: you don't have to panic about the money. I know....the problem is ever pressing. But God will provide. This is my story:
    I had to leave a domestic violent situation with NOTHING but the clothes on our backs, a few garbage bags, and my six month old baby. I had zero family support, and zero friend support. No furniture. No where to go, except a shelter.And it was winter. At that time I didn't even drive. I had nothing. I will tell you, that all I did was comfort my baby, take care of him and myself in the shelter, and PRAY. My dear, I prayed so hard. He will provide for you as He did for us.
    Now, I look back, and I thank God what happened occurred, because it set me on a different path completely- one of peace and joy, because now I am married to a man who loves me unconditionally for 10 years. And now, I have my son, and a daughter. Oh and by the way, I am not even the religious type.
    So, don't rush into anything right now. Take care of yourself and any children (if you have young ones). Eat nutritious food, get sunshine, take many, many walks (walking will prevent depression) hug, and pray. Rest. Pray, and what you need to do will be made known to you in perfect timing. Surround yourself ONLY with people who make you feel better, never worse. Live one day at a time.
    Believe it or not, this has happened for your healing. I know this may sound crazy, but one day, you will thank him (perhaps not to him directly, but to yourself in your heart) for showing you the truth, the truth about him and yourself.
    The unknown is scary. But that is where we grow.
    Instead of focusing on your 2 options, (survival or the poor house ) see your 2 options as depression or growth. Ways to grow come in many forms and in very do-able little opportunities and actions.Focus on small little increments of daily growth, instead of a solve all remedy. This saved my sanity.
    People will be put in your path. Accept their help, but they can only help you if you are honest with them, instead of angry at him, or blaming yourself. Anger of self blame will block the help, and block help from arriving.
    Your saftey and security is not in the house, the yard, the inlaws, the things, what others think, others approval, or his presence. Your saftey and security is right now, within yourself.And you can take that anywhere. You are able to take care of yourself, (though for a while, you might have to try to remember how.)
    If he is still in the house, I suggest you remove yourself and go stay somewhere, as what he says and does will only send you reeling, and weaken you. Limit contact for now. Don't call him for a dose of validation. Your validation is within. Don't go to him for answers. Your answers are within. If you feel you don't have answers today, that is ok, that does not mean that they're not there.
    Today is a brand new day. A brand new you.

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  30. Hello dear friend! I've been thinking about you so much ever since our chat the other the week. I was thinking about ways that I could help. I will send you a message about it soon. And just know, this blogging community is filled with so many people that love you and can support you emotionally with so many uplifting words of encouragement through this difficult time. So I'm glad to see you back on here, even if just briefly. Many hugs from here!


    XO's,
    Jessie

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  31. My dear friend,
    No one should have to endure what you are going through....but please know that God will provide. I went through the same thing many years ago when all three of my boys were young and somehow we survived. You will find THE way.
    Linda

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  32. As a stay at home mom also with two girls, my heart and prayers go out to you. You are such a creative and talented person, I am sure a new endeavor will come your way to help you both financially and spiritually. Know that we are all thinking of you. Hugs -

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  33. Oh, Jo. I'm so very sorry to hear your news. I haven't had the delight of following your blog for very long, but I do find you to be such a gentle, sweet, nurturing woman. Your daughters are lucky girls to have such a mother, and you have so much to offer to them, your extended family, friends, and community at large. You have such a gifted eye both in decorating, using vintage pieces, and photography. Look to use any and all of those skills professionally - open a little shop (your local small business office may know of grants available) or something on Etsy; get the word out that your camera is for hire; design blogs, stationery, or some such; hire out for event design or staging. You have so many skills! Will be praying for your heart, wellbeing, peace of mind, wisdom, and opportunities. And for goodness sake, don't worry about the frequency of blogging. Blog what you want and when; we'll all be here when you do. Hugs to you.

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  34. Dear Jo -
    My heart goes out to you and we will be praying for you. I can't imagine the great pain and loss you must feel. I know the Lord will see you through. Rely on Him.
    Praying ....

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  35. Oh I am so sorry. I had just found your blog a few months ago and have enjoyed reading it. I had missed your blogging but now completely understand why you haven't been. I can't imagine the heartache, loss and fear you must be feeling now. I pray you will lean on God to get you through this time. He is the answer for you and your daughters. Love to you.

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  36. I am so sorry to hear of your news. I am praying for you: Sheree

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  37. I just stumbled onto your blog..like the rest of these gals..you are in my prayers and my heart breaks for you. I can honestly say I have been there and done that! I took my girls and was able to buy a mobile home in a small retirement park with the help of a friends as a cosigner. That was 13 years ago and I to this day still live in my mobile home. Some would say "you live in a 'trailer'? Yep and darn proud too...my girls are still happy to call this home even tho they are both married with children. So don't let anyone tell you that you have to live a certain way or have certain things. I found that to be the hardest. Pamela's advice is true to the heart...follow it the best you can!
    DON'T STOP BLOGGING...WE ARE ALL HERE TO SEE YOU THROUGH THIS IF WE CAN!! I KNOW I AM AND I AM A NEW FOLLoWER!
    love your blog you are amazing!!

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  38. I am sorry. II have been in your place (for different reasons) My husband of 25 years died 6 months after our 25th anniversary. No one even knew he was sick.

    I had to face similar problems of income (having not worked for at least 20 years and not being able to do what I did before) I am still trying to find ways to increase my income.

    Take your time. Baby steps..concentrate on one day at a time, and make the children your priority. Things will fall into place. They have a habit of working out for the best in the end.

    I will think of you, and pray for you and your children.

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  39. I'm so sorry to hear of your trouble, Jo. I hope your beautiful blog is a lifeline for you in all ways possible. Bless you.

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  40. Jo-Jo
    I emailed you, I am so proud of you girl, you are a testimoney to all women in your shoes and showing them that you can get out there and start making big plans being a powerful women.

    You are going to reinvent your life, a life your girls will see as a survivor, a strong women raising your girls to stand and walk in faith.

    I am praying for you my sweet friend.
    xoxo
    Dore

    Keep blogging it will be a place for comfort and wash the ugly away with having the support of your beauty you have to offer.

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  41. Oh no !!! this is so so so sad news....my heart broken for you and your dayghters.....i hope you will come true darling...i miss you !!!..please email me when you will talk......and do not forget thr Lord will help you true darling.....i will pray for you and your daughters,.....bless you Ria....xxx...

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  42. Your post really touched me today. My heart is breaking for you. The Lord truly will watch over you and your daughters. My parents divorced when I was 17 after 22 years of marriage. It was difficult, yes, but I understand and we all survived. My mother was so devastated and it took some time, but she was stronger on the other side. Have faith that things will be ok, even if they don't seem so ok today. God Bless you and your family.

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  43. I am so sorry for all that you and your girls are going through-I will pray for you also.

    Take care,
    Carolyn

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  44. Bless your heart, my sweet friend, I am here for you, if you just need someone to talk to. I'll e-mail you my phone number.
    I've never been through divorce myself, but my parents divorced after 41 years and it shattered my mothers life. I am so sorry for your pain.

    You are surrounded by love and prayers, please know that!

    Love,
    Anne

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  45. Hey Jo,

    I'm so thankful that you shared this with us. Maybe the culmination of all our thoughts and energies can somehow in some small way, help hold you up. My husband left me 20 years ago, it was the most horrible thing i have ever been through. I had two small kids and a home i loved... and i was clueless and terrified about everything, especially going back to work, after being a stay at home mom. Oh my god, i know how painful and scary this is... it's pretty much unbearable...
    I know right now almost nothing helps you feel better, but i will say it anyway, your daughters will keep you going and doing, even if it's just going through the motions for a while. This is a process, and i promise you, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. I was ready to die, and after all the suffering... i went on to become an artist, and have had wonderful relationships and experiences i never ever would have had, if that had not happened.
    I will be thinking of you...

    Cindy

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  46. Hi Jo,
    I am truly sorry for your heartache!!
    I know what it's like to be a child and a grown child of divorce. It's never easy for a child at any age. But, it does get better, and your girls are truly fortunate to have you!! I hope their father will still be apart of their lives! That is the devastating part is when the father cuts their children off as well.
    Just know that no matter how hard things are emotionally and financially, God will ALWAYS provide for you!! Please believe in that!!
    As for making some money, start an Etsy shop and sell things similar to what you have in your home, your style is fabulous!!
    Check online for things that you can do on your computer at home.
    Take care of yourself and just know that these difficult times will pass and do not let this define who you are! You are an amazing and sweet lady!!
    Lots of love!
    Sincerely,
    Melinda

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  47. Not to mention, that you are an insanely good photographer and decorator and gardener! Take some of your photos, put them on cards... and sell them....I'll buy them!, i bet everyone here would!

    Hugs,
    Cindy

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  48. Hello Jo
    I am sorry to hear about your heartache. Please know you will get through this and life will be different and probably better in the future. Make time for yourself and the rest will fall into place. Take care and know we are all here for you.
    Hugs,
    Wanda

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  49. Hi Jo,
    I am so sorry to hear about this...:( I feel so sad for you and your girls. I can't even imagine what grief and emotional turmoil you're feeling.

    I'm emailing you an action plan!! :)

    Our Heavenly Father is very aware of you & your family and will watch (and is watching) over you. Reach out to Him and lean on Him. Pray with all your heart. Ask for guidance and direction and He will open doors....

    xo,
    Shellagh

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  50. Jo~
    I hope that your days will get brighter after this storm. I'm so sorry and thinking of you! You are brave to write about this and I admire you for doing so. Marcy

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  51. Jo, my heart breaks for you and what your are going through. I see this so much, and have to wonder about the selfishness of a person who could do this to one they have loved for so long--not to mention leaving a young family to struggle along in life.

    If I may offer a suggestion, journaling and prayer helped me when my own marriage became difficult.

    I pray for strength, guidance, and peace as you work your way through this. I pray you find a job you love, and that you come out of this a stronger person.

    Sending you comforting hugs.

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  52. Hi Jo~~~

    I am so sorry you are having to go through this. You and your girls are in my thoughts and prayers. Divorce is never easy, but being a child of it, I can tell you it does get better. You will come out of this even stronger. You are already strong to have been able to have the courage to do this post. I just did a post about how this blog world helped me through a very hard time in my life last year. I hope this will be true for you too.
    Hang in there and know you have alot of support:)
    xo
    ~Cheryl

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  53. Dear Jo, I am sad to hear this news.
    I doubt there are words that will heal your heart. Many of us are thinking of you, and praying for you and your family.
    You will go through many emotions over the next weeks, and even months. There is no time limit on grief. Take all the time you need to heal.
    We will all be right here...looking forward to your return, and hearing that your heart is mending.
    Love and hugs to you, dear one.
    xxxooo

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  54. Thank you so much for sharing. I will keep you in my thoughts and will say a prayer for comfort and peace. God is good,you are not alone..

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  55. Sending you a hug and keeping you in my thoughts. Blogging has been a wonderful retreat for me...a place to share and feel love and support ~ keep that in mind. Perhaps advertising on your beautiful blog as well as opening up an etsy shop may help. Just take one day at a time, keep smiling and know that there are so many of us that would be happy to help or just listen if you need it!
    Take care
    Sandi

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  56. Dear Jo, I am so sorry to hear. I have a good feeling that it will work out for you. As for the blogging do not let it be a burden but a way of support and understanding. You are not alone. Going back to work after not working is not easy. I just completed one year of working after being out of the normal workforce for the past 10 years. The best way to find a job is to tell everyone you are looking, friends, neighbors, family, it is this connection that can get you a job first. Confidence, whether you have it or not, you have to fake it, all those years taking care of children taught you patience, the ability to multi task, look at is as a plus, not a minus that you have not been working because you have. Good luck with your new future.

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  57. So many of us have traveled this journey that you are now on. I was 26 yrs married, with 2 grown children :(. But remember "God will never leave your heart broken. He may not mend it the way you want, But He will give it what it needs." Trust in Him and take time to assess your life. I will be praying. :) Kathy at ribqueen1965@yahoo.com

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  58. Jo honey, you are going to get through this!God has not abandoned you :)He takes care of His children!

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  59. I'm so very sorry to hear this, and I can't even begin to imagine everything you must be going through right now. You have such a great sense of style, do you think you could contact a magazine and see if they need a stylist out your way? It isn't easy work, as you well know, and it would require you to travel some, but it might be worth looking in to.

    Best wishes to you and your girls!

    Kat

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  60. I'm so sorry to hear this. I understand your broken heart and fears. Believe me, it does get better. The days ahead will be very difficult for you and you're daughters but there IS light at the end of the tunnel. You will look back on these days and be amazed to see the person you will have become. Your in my prayers. I can relate to the confusion and that awful dumb feeling. Be not afraid.

    Peace,
    Kathy

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  61. I am really sorry to hear that this is happening. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I can send you all my best wishes and hopes that you will find the resources you need to get through. I know that God has all the power you need!

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  62. Dear Jo-
    I have been in your shoes. In 1999 my husband left me after 22 years of marriage (for another woman who was beautiful, younger and thin-everything that I wasn't). I married him (my teenage sweetheart) when I was only 17.
    Many people asked me if I ever "saw it coming". The answer was NO- never.
    I had 3 daughters at home too. We had just built our "dream" home in the country the year before the divorce.
    I have felt your pain, I have shed the very tears you are shedding right this minute. I was certain I would cease to exists, but I am here. I somehow found my way through the rubble. I know it may do little to comfort you right now, but I promise you will make it through this too. Hold your daughters tight and together you will become strong women.
    Really, I will listen if you need someone to talk to that has been there before.
    Sincerely,
    Becka

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  63. Oh, Jo! My heart just goes out to you! Prayers for you and your girls. They are so lucky to have you as their mom, you will take such good care of them by just being you. Take good care of yourself, they need you!
    You have such an eye for decorating, have you thought about organizing, decorating, etc?
    Take each day as it comes, you have a whole new world ahead of you, maybe even better then you can even imagine!
    I look forward to following your journey and will keep you in my prayers!
    Thank you so much for sharing this with us, it must have been so hard to do and I so look up to you for doing so. I had been wondering where you were! (not that you have to worry about keeping all of us happy, you have a lot on your plate!)


    ~Shanon

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  64. Dear Jo,

    I am so sorry for the pain and broken heart, you must be feeling. Know that you have many friends here, through the blogging world, that are sending their love to you.
    I do wish good things for you and your girls and know that you will come out better and stronger.
    You are so very talented and I am sure an Etsy shop with your photographs and selling some of the things like you have around your home, will do well.

    Sending hugs and good wishes
    Carolyn

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  65. Jo ~ as in my email, you know that I am praying so hard for you, sweetie. Pamela@OurPioneerHomestead had alot of great advice. I liked what she said about God placing people in your path and you accepting their help; about staying strong for yourself and your girls and taking time for walks and staying connected with their thoughts and fears. A job will be offered to you when you least expect it and it will be a gift from above. Look for it. It's coming. :) Until then, stay strong, keep the faith, keep praying, and know that you're not walking this alone. I'm here if you need me. ♥ Luv you so!

    xoxo laurie

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  66. jo~

    please let me know if there IS anything i can do...i am SO,SO sorry. please remember what a beautiful, strong, amazingly talented woman you are and what a shining example you are for your daughters...
    sending love, strength, and prayers your way...

    xo
    kristin

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  67. yoga, it will lighten your soul and heart. If you don't know where to start I will help you find poses that you can do at home but it will help tremendously, physically and mentally. I have been mending a broken heart for a year and I would not have gotten through without it. You have beautiful style you will do just fine financially, sell, decorate, decorate for holidays, plan parties, ask about contributing to a home magazine, you clearly have tremendous talent for all the above. Listen to Rhonda Byrne/The Power. It will help but you have to listen over and over, you can get it on ITunes. Do not for one second think that you ARE these circumstances. Yes it is painful, horribly painful but you are not defined by this. Do Not Forget that... As far as your husband, do not hate him, that will only manifest negative circumstances for you, you don't have to like him but forgive him and move on. It's all about you and your daughters for now on. :) see whatever beauty in that, that you can. You may find more than you imagined could exist. I wish you all the happiness Jo.
    A

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  68. First of the years is a fresh start... so make it YOURS.... Believe in who you are and follow your instincts. Life has a way of moving in your direction if you are positive and opportunities will present themselves if your eyes and heart are open. Keep your chin up and be the best mom you can and you will fill each other up!
    May you be blessed this year and who knows it might be your best in a long time...
    xo,
    Gail
    casualloveselegance

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  69. You've brought beauty into our lives through your blog. I am praying for you that God will comfort you, guide you and heal your broken heart and your girls.
    Much love,
    Elizabeth

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  70. I'm so sorry to hear this sad news and hope and pray everything will work out for the best for you and your daughters.

    I can relate to being a stay at home Mom and would be distraught not knowing what kind of work to do to support my children, since it has been 12 years since I've been in the work force as well. Maybe an Etsy store could help or have you ever though of photography since you take amazing photos???

    Wishing you the best:-)

    xoxo
    Kathleen

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  71. I am sorry for the hurt you are feeling. Praying that God will comfort you and guide you as you make decisions. I too faced this many years ago and now know that I am & was much better off, maybe not financially, but emotionally. I hope 2012 turns into a great year for you!

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  72. Jo, Thank you for sharing- it couldn't have been easy. You have a lot of people thinking of you during this difficult time. Take care, my friend. xo Sue

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  73. Dear Jo, I'm a reader from Finland and I've been enjoying your harmonious blog with all the lovely pictures for a while. Thank you for the joy you are bringing to many readers. I wish to send you strength and courage on this challenging period of time. Lots of joyful times to come, Blessings and wondrous New Beginnings when it's time.
    Love from
    Tiina

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  74. Jo, I want to reach through the computer and give you a huge hug. They say that a broken heart is the worst pain and they are right! I pray for you during this very difficult time that you may soon feel comfort.
    Your friend,
    Maria

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  75. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You should know that you are an extremely talented woman and that you inspire a lot of people. The phoenix rose from the ashes. This shall be you too. You will be stronger and better for it. You will find your true self. As for your daughters, children are resilient. Surround them with love always and they will be okay.

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  76. As hard as it may seem right now, you will get through this time in your life, and you and your daughters will be stronger for it, I know, I've been there. You will heal and find happiness again. You are so lucky you have your daughters to love and keep your focused.

    Miss Mustard Seed and several other bloggers are posting this week on blogging and how to 'make money' doing it...check it out....best wishes.

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  77. I am so sorry! And I know you will have some difficult times ahead, but remember that you will come out on the other side with a mended heart. Hang in there!

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  78. I stumbled upon your blog today for the first time and as I read your post, it was heartbreaking to hear what you are going through and I am so sorry. I too am a stay at home mom and have been out of the workforce myself for 15 years so I understand some of what you are going through pertaining to that. I will be lifting you up in prayer. As hard as it is right now, I believe that if you cling to God and put all your trust in Him, He will make good out of this trial that you are going through in due time. It isn't easy waiting for it but I've seen it, with my own life and with others as we've placed our faith and trust in Him to make it right for us. That old saying- That which does not kill us makes us stronger, is so very true. I see you are a very talented woman and I hope that you get in touch with the right people who can help you start a career. Wishing you all the best!

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  79. Dear Jo, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I too have been there as well. What I did was got a job at my kids school. Part time, no nights, no weekends, off when they were off. Off during Spring break, summers. I know schools are harder to get on with, I live probably 2 hours north of you. But make yourself visible at the school, get to know them. If they know of something they will let you know. This will allow you to do something on the side too, like for instance an on-line business? Anyways dear good luck. Working at a school isn't for everyone I know, you have to be patient! LOL But I'm in my 50's now and still work at a school, but still love my hours and days off. Marcia
    ps Lean on God!

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  80. My heart is breaking for you after reading your blog last night and you've been in my prayers. Mary Alice

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  81. I'm so glad you shared this with us, Jo. I know it had to be terribly difficult but I also know you will receive so much support from this blogging community. My parents divorced when I was young and it wasn't always easy but the main thing I can remember is that I always knew that both of my parents loved me and my sisters very much. As long as your girls have that, and I know they will, they will be okay. Please know that you are a very talented woman so I am certain something good will happen for you! I will keep you in my prayers.

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  82. I am so sorry Jo. I don't even know how to comfort you other than say that I am here and will be praying for you and your dear daughters.
    You have so many here that admire and love you and I have no doubt that there will be many prayers and good thoughts going up for you and I hope that will bring you some comfort.
    sending love to you...
    June

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  83. Jo...oh my goodness your poor thing.....just know you are in my thoughts and prayers..always.Much love to you and the girls.Chrissy

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  84. I am so sorry Jo.

    If you need anything...I am always here.

    XO sarah

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  85. Hi Jo,
    I went through what you're going through 12 years ago. It was heartbreaking, but I promise you in much less time than you think, your life will be joyful. In my case, my relationship with Christ grew, which was the greatest benefit. My needs were met, and it was not long before my situation was even better than when I was married. There are many good things about being head of your house - focus on those now instead of your loss. Know that God is your provider, not your husband or any employer. Use your talents to create your income. Your photography is lovely. I know a woman who divorced a couple of years ago. She downsized, and began dong photography - outside photos of little girls in fancy ruffled skirts and cowboy boots, family photos and more "artsy" types of things. People are loving it, and I see her ads often. I think she just takes the photos and tweaks them, then copies them onto a cd. No printing involved, so very little expense other than her time, cd's and promotional items.
    Just a thought. :)
    You will get through this and you will be successful, and your family will be in good shape. Your daughters have the opportunity to watch you turn a difficult situation into a better one. May you feel HIS presence and see evidence of his love for you every day. Know that He is with you now and always.
    -Revi

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  86. I just discovered this blog today and I and I am so very sorry to hear this news. You're obviously a very talented and intelligent lady who has great things to look forward too. You've been given such great advice that I won't add to it except to say I know you're strong and can get thru this even if it's just one second at a time.
    And, as for your soon to be ex, well, hopefully he'll get everything he deserves..... whatever that might be. Prayers and love to you. MaryO

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  87. I just discovered this blog today and I and I am so very sorry to hear this news. You're obviously a very talented and intelligent lady who has great things to look forward too. You've been given such great advice that I won't add to it except to say I know you're strong and can get thru this even if it's just one second at a time.
    And, as for your soon to be ex, well, hopefully he'll get everything he deserves..... whatever that might be. Prayers and love to you. MaryO

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  88. So sorry....I hope you find peace...when you are feeling blue know we are here.
    Rachel

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  89. Dear Jo,
    Haven't had the pleasure of following your blog for long but your beautiful spirit shines through in every post...I'm so very sorry to hear of the pain and suffering you and your beautiful daughters are going through. It must be so very hard to come to terms with it all. I'm sending you all tons of Love. May you be Happy, May you be at Peace, May you Be Whole. Maggie from Australia xxoooo

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  90. Axelle the french readerJanuary 7, 2012 at 7:16 AM

    I'm a french reader, I have never posted a comment but today, I wanted to tell you that I feel really sorry for you. I understand the devastating feeling it can be. A lot of people, around me, are divorcing and this is always a terrible time to cross.
    Today is too earlier to say this, but I promise you that one day, you'll feel better. Time is the best friend in this case.
    Courage.
    Friendly,

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  91. I just stumbled onto your blog and was so sad to learn of your recent heartbreak. Trying to think of ways for you to make a career, even if temporary, from home. Go to Fiona and Twig blog and look at her item about the new Parisienne Farmgirl magazine. Click on the video and watch it. Angela needs writers and photographers to send in items for the magazine. Go to her website for more information. There are also websites which recruit photographers to send in pictures for their stock. This might be a good way to make a little extra money on the side. Another way to generate income, if you do not already have one, perhaps an online etsy store ? I did not read all the comments, perhaps someone has already suggested this.

    My prayers for your mended heart. Given time, you will be whole again. I know you must feel as if you have been split in two and cast into a very dark pit. Look up ! For light shines upon you with God's grace.

    Take care.

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  92. Oh Jo, I am so sorry to hear of your recent heartbreak. I returned to the workforce (in an art shop) after a 20 year break. A necessity to help our family out financially when my husband was between jobs. I can't begin to tell you how nervous I was at the interview & my first day, but the whole experience taught me so much about myself and made me a much stronger person. It was my creative passion & painting skills that got me the job. You are so talented
    & creative & have beautiful styling skills I am sure you will be successful with whatever comes your way. Give yourself time, breath & take each day as it comes.
    Best wishes to you & your daughters.
    xox Kerry

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  93. I am so sorry you are going thru this....I can't even imagine how devestated you must be?!?!? I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!!!
    ~Des

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  94. Jo, I am so terribly sorry to hear what lies ahead. It's very difficult and understand the downtime required. Something I hope you do for YOU is to keep taking those pictures, even while you hurt. It helps.

    I suggest to fire up some ads on your blog (adsense at the very least) IMMEDIATELY and google BlogHer to sign up. They will bring you some extra income without you having to do anything differently. If you have BlogHer, they want you to make 2-3 posts per week (I don't remember now) but it's worth looking into.

    Email me if you wish for more info!

    Donna
    signmakergirl@hotmail.com

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  95. Oh Jo,...I am so sorry for you...
    Sorry but my english is not good enough to write what Im feel, when I read your Post ...I't makes me so sad.
    But PLEASE write Your Blog....we miss you so much....
    From the Bottom of my Heart
    Hugs
    Sonja

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  96. I'm so very sorry, I have been there...not to fret to much though. First you took a big step to explain to us all...that's the first step to healing talking about it..and it's okay to cry and cry...you have to release it some way. You must have a local Employment place??? Start there to looking for a job. Check your local shops House keeping post an Ad in the local paper. Myself not wanting to but I had to go on Aid, because I had four children I didn't have a choice. later found work. Sit down and makes notes as to what you can do what kind of skills do you have...and go from there .. Turn to the Father above for comfort ask for his helping hand... and try to write that weekly blog to vent it out..its good therapy for you. O check your community center as well for what kind of help they have sometimes they have work help...So sorry sweet that you have to endure such pain...wishing you a wonderful day....Trust in the Father above...God Bless with Love Janice @ spoonwither.blogspot.com...

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  97. I have just found you! I can only imagine your pain. I am sending you love and courage to keep your chin up and always a smile on your face. Your blog may be YOUR time to reflect, share and reach out. I will follow on my way out so I can check back in from time to time. Cheers SpecialK XoXo

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  98. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughters. You have an awesome sense of style. I agree with getting advertising on your blog. Also, selling through Etsy would be wonderful, too. It is difficult to take advice when your heart is broken. Get your daughters to help...if they are old enough. Take care, Jan

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  99. You are in my thoughts and prayers, there will be a light at the end of this dark path.

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  100. Sweet Jo I am praying for you and your daughter...I have been here before ...taking the first steps onto a path I really didn't want to go down let me say Jo that your heavenly father has a special eye on your heart..,a plan for you future..this will give you something extraordinary over time...then some day you will have the chance to pay it forward ...share you journey with another that is in pain with panic in her heart..for now just know that your life matters...you are a child of the Lord...so is your daughter ...you will get to the other side of this with oodles of prayers from faces you've never even seen...God is SO GOOD...big hugs Jo....Karena A Loblolly Life

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  101. Jo, I am so sorry, but it will get better. 19 years ago I received the same news unexpectly after 20 years of marriage and three kids. I had never worked after college excepting selling my artwork. I found a meaningful career as a teacher, still sell paintings and furniture, and have great adult children. Was it upsetting, sometimes, but I talked alot(my poor friends). Kept my children my #1 priority, and it worked out for us. My prayers are with you.

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  102. Jo, I know how terrified you are. My husband (also my high school sweetheart) divorced me 2 1/2 years ago after 28 years of marriage. I would encourage you to find a DivorceCare group at a local church. This program is a gift from God - you will have amazing support and learn about all the emotions and situations you will go through as you walk through this major life event - it's also a good way to network with others in your situation and those who have already made it through the other side. Their advice and encouragement will be so helpful. There are also DivorceCare4Kids groups aimed at helping children as their parents divorce. First and foremost "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6. Sending hugs and prayers for you. Monica in PA.

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  103. I've been meaning to send you an email since I read this last week, trying to think of the right words to say. My heart goes out to you and your girls. I realize there are no "right words" though, but please know that I've been praying for you and your family. You are a very talented woman my friend.

    I don't know how you feel about sales, but my friend has brought in a pretty good income selling Scentsy. In fact, I'm going to be doing a Scentsy giveaway next week. I love it and it really sells itself. It's a wonderful product. With your following, I think you'd be able to sell quite a bit on your blog. Just a thought. If you want to talk to my friend about it, send me an email and I'll get you in touch with her :)
    Blessings,
    Marcia

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  104. Hello Jo, I found you via another blog and just had to comment. My second husband and I split 9 years ago in December and I was in the same situation as you. Here I am 9 years later still going, I have been in and out of jobs (due to recession etc) but I am still here. You are a woman and have inner strength that you didn't realise you had, you will grieve and tears will flow, then you will pick yourself up and opportunities will open up before you, just believe in yourself. I am still on my own 9 years later and have found my 'happy place' inside of myself and happy in the knowledge that I have been able to keep my children (3) happy and healthy. We don't have all the mod cons, but that's ok we don't need them as long as we have each other and the necesities in life, although I would love my own home and not have to 'waste' money on rent, but grateful I have a roof over our heads.
    One foot in front of the other and you will be ok. Oh and talk, talk, talk so you don't bottle it all up and make yourself vunerable to illness.
    x Sandi

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  105. Hi Jo, I noticed you take beautiful photos, have you considered selling them on etsy? Hang in there , you will get through this. Remember, when one door shuts another one opens.

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  106. bless your baby heart....at age 56, I had to find work due to husband's sudden disability. I am at a retail shop,(a first for me)and doing well. Hospitals, shops, grocery stores,...ask at them all! I also have a booth and work in the shop in lieu of paying rent...not getting rich but it helps and I love it. So, two jobs later, one booth and we are hanging in there. You can do this!!

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  107. I am so sorry to hear about the pain that you and your girls are going through. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. You have a talent for photography and design. I feel like these talents will play a part in a new life for you. I wish you all the best.

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  108. Hi, my name is Heather! Please email me when you can, I have a question about your blog!

    HeatherVonSJ[at]gmail[dot]com

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  109. Oh, Jo. So sorry to be reading this. And I truly will say a prayer for you and your girls. Faith will carry you through this and by the looks of things, at least 100 other bloggers. I am here if you need to reach out for anything at all. You will make it through to the other side and you will be stronger because of it. My parents divorced when I was 7 and I watched my devastated mother pick herself back up and start over with nothing in her pocket (All she wanted was her girls). She started a small daycare for a short while to stay home with us and earn an income. You're a wonderful photographer and a beautiful decorator. Have you ever considered offering room design/consultation packages? I would absolutely get some of your photographs on Etsy. As for local business, if you have an interest in shooting weddings, babies, etc., I'd get yourself a little photog business going. Just some thoughts. Either way, you are gifted. Please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do. - Jami

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  110. Hi,
    You know what you will be ok! I went through this when my babies were 2.5 an just 1. They are now 18 and 16.5 and great!!
    A couple of things I found helpful. * If it all gets too overwhelming, stop, take a deep breath and 'chunk' out the day - I just need to get from now til lunch ect.
    Make the decision to remember your children's childhood as a good time. Really I don't remember too much of the exhaustion and tears, but lots of laughter and fun days!
    And lastly, be concious, especially in your parenting
    The money stuff is a pain but will sort itself out - good luck!

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  111. I have been reading your blog since late last summer.When I could no longer go on this blog I did not know what happened.I am so sorry you are going through this.I can't even imagine. I will keep you in my prayers.You are such a talented person.I know you will find something you can make money at with the talents you have.Anything is possible.

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  112. OMGosh...I am so sorry your heart is broken.

    I am glad to see you back online, I have missed you. You are one talented woman, I am sure you will soon realize that. You have the touch, the eye, the vision....best wishes to you.

    Consider yourself hug in a big fat Texas hug and a big ole bless your heart. ♥

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  113. Jojeana,
    I am so sorry. How devastating. I can't even imagine my husband doing that to me and we've been married 23 years. If there's anything I can do just contact me through e-mail. I'll keep my ears open for you.
    Great big enormous hugs, Amanda

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  114. Jo,
    Thoughts and prayers for you and your girls from yet another blog follower. You will grow from this, Be strong and know that you are not alone. Look how many "friends" have survived and gone on. I lost the love of my life too, and thought I could not go on, but I did with the love of children, family and friends (even the ones at your finger tips) I wish you peace and know that you will be ok.
    heartfelt tears for you. Blessings will come your way.
    lori v

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  115. It also happened to me....took me totally by surprise but I quickly resolved that if this is what it was to be....so be it. I picked myself up (it took at least a year to clean up the financial mess) and get on with MY life. Luckily for me, though, my kids were almost adults. Just know that you only have to care for your daughters and yourself now and get on with it. I tell everyone that I was "content" with my marriage but now 10 years later I can see how bad it was and how much happier I am now. I have two wonderful kids out of the relationship and my life is now richer for it. Good luck.

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  116. I am so sorry this is happening to you. Sadly, the same thing happened to me thirteen years ago when my husband of seventeen years abruptly dumped me. I was terrified. I had no money of my own and no job.The best advice I was given was to hire an excellent family law attorney! She leaped into action and I followed her instructions exactly. It wasn't always easy but in the end I was able to preserve a reasonable life for my daughter and myself. Know your financial stuff and keep these details between your lawyer and yourself. As a side note, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You will be happy again even though it seems like such a remote possibility now. My daughter is now in her first year of law school preparing to become a family law attorney. That's a tribute to the woman who helped me unravel the mess I had been in. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  117. I think you have received much wonderful advice from women who have been in your place. I got divorced over 10 years ago and even though it was something that I wanted, it was scary and I worried most about my children. I will just say that I survived,eventually found love again and I have to echo the thoughts of Susan H, I now believe that my children are the better for it and both have very strong marriages. I believe where the children are concerned, it's more about how you handle it than the stress itself. Because life is stressful and the skills that they learn now will serve them all through their lives. My thoughts are with you - I know you will be able to survive and even thrive and will come out a different, stronger, better person. We're all behind you.

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  118. Dearest Jo,

    Haven't checked my blogroll in some time, so I am just now seeing your post. I have to say it was like a stab through the heart when I read it; I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I wish I could give you a big hug and brush away your tears. This is devastating news and my heart truly goes out to you. I have yet to be married, and have no children, so it is hard for me to relate (a bad break-up with a fiance does not count!), so please listen to advice from other ladies who have already been through what you are going through as they will be your best source of information and guidance. This has got to be a confusing time for you, so please ask for help if you need it. I am certain your "sisters" here will come through for you.

    My first thought as far as something to generate income for you would be your photography, as others before me have pointed out. You definitely have some great skills, a great eye, and I think this would be something you could start with right away, because you already have quite a portfolio of lovely photographs. Someone upstream in the comments mentioned cards -- yes, if you could take some of your photos and have them printed onto nice cardstock with envelopes, I bet you could sell those in an Etsy shop -- I know I would buy them. Either packs of notecards or even greeting cards with some lovely sayings inside would be a great start. Also, how about selling some enlargements of your prints, something suitable for framing? If you do decide to open an Etsy shop, please let me know and I will post a link to it on my blog. I only have a tiny readership, but if everyone who follows your blog promoted your work/Etsy shop, that would help get the word out and who knows where it could take you.

    I am keeping you and your girls in my thoughts and prayers.

    Take care,

    Kimber

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  119. So sorry to hear this has happened to you, the good Lord knows what you are going through. Turn to him always in good and bad, he has a plan for our live already written out, some times we may not agree with it. If we are looking to him at all times he will get us through it. You will find something wonderful to do with your talent that god gave you. You are in my prayers. I pray this would bring you and your children closer to the Lord and that he would give you strength, knowledge and forgivness. Hang in there us women are very strong you can get through this!!!

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  120. Hey sweetie ~ God placed you on my mind today, so I was just popping in to check on you. I hope and pray that you are staying strong and finding your way. I'm here if you need to talk. Sending you a {{ big hug }}. ♥

    xoxo laurie

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  121. New to your blog, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Just take one day at a time and look for opportunities to be there. God will never leave you, if you trust in Him and watch for His plan for you to unfold. As you seek Him, he will make known His plans and set your feet on the right path he has for you. Blessings my new friend, I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

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  122. I just came across your blog today. It is very special please don't stop blogging! I have been a single mother for almost 2 years now. Everything will be fine it will work out, take the advice of finding a great family lawyer. I will be following your blog and I know in time you will be fine.
    Kelly

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  123. Hi darlin...just checking in on you....hope your o.k!!! x0

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  124. I just found your blog this morning. I know nothing about you except what I read on this post. And I have tears in my eyes. I too am a single mother of two girls. I was terrified at the beginning. I had been out of the workforce as well. I hope it is the least bit encouraging to hear that it does get better. I also have a few work ideas for you, no matter where you live. Please contact me, I think info on my blog, if you like. I am sorry that you are going through this. It breaks my heart. I do believe, though, that there is a plan. I will keep you in my prayers, Jo.

    MC

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  125. This is my first visit to your blog and how strange that I would visit at this very painful and intimate time of your life. I went through the same thing 17 years ago....yes, I am old! LOL! He was my highschool sweetheart too but we broke up and married other people and then got back together and married and had 3 children together and I had one from my first marriage. We were married 21 years...like you I thought we would grow old together...yada yada yada but it wasn't meant to be. Unlike you though, I was the major bread winner so finances wasn't something I needed to worry about. I have been reading lately though of women being left after years of being homemakers and worried about their financial future. Don't you get alimony? Child support? What's going on here? I had to give my husband half of everything and half of my retirement but I only thought that was fair but he had not been a "housewife" and had his own career. He did not get alimony and we had one child still at home but since I made so much more than he did I did not ask for child support.
    If he's the one that wanted the divorce then you should not be the one to suffer for it and certainly not your children. I hope you have a good lawyer or are getting one. Dry your tears and fight for your children and for what you deserve or you will regret it down the road. I'm so sorry you're going through this or that anyone has to at this stage of the game but I realized later and you will too that you deserve better!
    Good luck sweetie and prayers to you and for you and your children. Brenda at Cozy Little House just went through the same thing. She's trying to make money using her blog. You might want to try that as you have a WHOLE SLEW of followers!

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  126. I am so sorry to hear what has happened in your marriage Jo. My heart goes out to you.I cant even imagine what you must be going through.I will pray for strength for you and your children. Hugs, Rachel

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  127. Hi Jo, Like a lot of us women, I have been there also...it is terrifing to say the least, but, I made it through it, and in the end realized it was for the best. After all, GOD, is the healer, and if he bring us to it...he will bring us through it! I will be thinking of you and the children. Take Care!! Rhonda

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  129. Hello Jo, I know at this point you don't want any advice and I dearly understand the pain and confusion you're feeling. None of us can tell you how to get over it, that's a very personal thing. But you must remember that you WILL get over it and begin again. Keep close to your friends and family. They will be your greatest support. Regards to you. Adriana

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  130. Just reading this tonight. I am so sorry to hear this. I just can't imagine what you are going through....and I wish you the very best. Good things will happen for you - although it may be hard for you to see this right now...as you go through this very difficult time. Wishing you the best for you and your girls. XO

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  131. I just found you, just "followed"you, and I wanted to tell you, I understand, and I am praying for you. This is deja-vous for me, 20 years ago I divorced , and I know how you feel. Know that others care, and that you can go on, one day at a time. When God closes one door another will open! You will find your way, and You will find love again , but now you must just nurture yourself. Surround yourself in beauty, and read books about starting over. Possibly you could have an online store, like I just started. I recommend joining Etsy Cottage Style and looking into an Etsy store, to help you make some money. I wish you joy in your new beginnings! Linda

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  132. Dear Jo...I just serendipiously (is that even a word?) came across your blog...and read your sad news....I know you posted this well over a month ago but I know that the pain is still there and may be even worse than it was...I know what you are going through....I went through a very painful divorce 13 years ago, I had been married 20 years to the man I thought I would be married to for my entire life...We had only 1 child, she was 7 years old at the time...Please know that even though it is hard to imagine right now, but life does go on and it does get better and sometimes better than it was before, eventhough that is hard to imagine or believe at this time....I determined in my hear that I would not allow my divorce to define me or ruin my life. I determined that I would get through it and get through it with grace and dignity...I determined to forgive my husband, my ex-husband...and with God's help, actually only through His strength and grace I was able to forgive...I prayed to forgive him every single day for 1 year and then one day I woke up and it was done, I knew I had forgiven him....I was honest my our daughter, altho as honest as you can and should be with a 7 year old, I never talked badly about her father when she was around or to her face, I made sure she was always our first priority and not my feelings or me and thank God he did the same...I also told my daughter that one day she would have her happy, fun-loving mother back again but that for now I was sad and heartbroken, but that I knew God would heal my heart and He did. It is 13 years later, our life actually turned out better than had I stay married, my ex-husband and I are good friends, I tell him he makes the BEST ex-husband anyone could ever have, and this summer my daughter and I will be flying to China so she can meet her new family, as her dad re-married and moved to China 3 years ago and she has a step-sister she has never met. We have met her stepmom and she is a doll, I just love her. She is perfect for him. Only God could do all of this but 13 years ago, I was so heartbroken I could barely breath, I could even say the word DIVORCE, I thought my life had ended...God brings and/or allows storms to come into our lives to bring change and if we allow Him, He will work it all out for our good and to His glory, and the change will be good for us. I am praying for you Jo. In His Everlasting Arms...Rose

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  133. Hi Jo,
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    Sarah

    ReplyDelete
  134. From someone who has been in your shoes (as much as that's possible given each person's own path to walk), you will breathe again, you will laugh and find joy again and you will find your own power.
    Four years ago, my sister, a stay-at-home-mom to five children, left her husband of 25 years after he became addicted to cocaine and refused to go to rehab. He also secretly withdrew most of her inheritance from my dad, to pay for his habit. She hadn't worked in those 25 years and was terrified of what life looked like, alone with children to raise. What she brought to the table was hope, faith and a great deal of spunk.
    She got a job at a local garden center at the edge of the small town she lived in, found a small cottage that she was able to afford (she curtained off the dining area as her bedroom), planted a huge vegetable garden and started with a fresh outlook on life.
    Today, her garden is blooming, thanks to many rejects from her workplace, her children are thriving and she's been left in charge of running the garden center for weeks on end, placing orders and learned along the way. She took a local college course to become a certified organic gardener and she's found her passion. Life has opened up in so many ways for her.
    When you are in the throes of heartbreak and heartache, it's difficult to see through that fog of hurt, but please take hope that those of us who've journeyed this path are here to tell you that it will get better. Once you've walked through the fire, you'll come out at the other end a stronger and more powerful woman than ever before.
    Hugs, Barb

    ReplyDelete
  135. My heart goes out to you and your girls. I'm new to your blog and would like to suggest that you might want to work on getting a gardening/landscaping certificate. Landscaping could be in your future... perhaps you can start by working at a plant nursery. Just a thought! I’m hoping that soon you see the excitement of a new and brighter future for you and your daughters.

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  136. Just reading this Jo, and am so sorry for your circumstances. You WILL get through it, one day at a time - if that's too much, one section of a day. Praying for you and your girls. ~ Abby

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  137. Zivot je nepredvidiv.Zdravlje je najvaznije.Kad covek shvati da gubi zdravlje ziveci u braku ,koji to nije,najbolje za sve je zavrsiti sa tim delom zivota.Ja sam prosla kroz tu fazu pre15 godina.Mora proci bar godinu dana od razvoda da bi se stvarno bolje osacala.Razveden si kad se razvedes u glavu.Razveden si kad ti se javi osmeh na licu.Razveden si kada se u toku nekoliko dana ni ne setis bivsega.Razveden si kad ponovo pozelis da izgledas dobro.Kad pocnes da se doterujes i pocnes da primecujes muskarce oko sebe.A onda ,znas sta vise NECES u zivotu,a posle sta HOCES od zivota.Ja sam upoznala muskarca svog zivota i dozivela divnu ljubav,koja me postice da izrazim svoju kreativnost koja je bila uspavana.Zivim lep i opusten zivot.To zelim svim zenama da dozive.Ali covek mora imati otvoreno srce za ljubav.A ko ima kreativnosti u sebi i licni zivot mu je izazov za kreativnost.SRECNO!Jer dok ne stavis tacku,ne pocinje nova recenica.

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  138. That's really awful. Did he give you a reason why he wanted to? I know it's tough but sometimes it just won't work out. The only person in life that you have control over is your self. The most important thing to do is to take care of yourself. If you take care of yourself your problems will solve themselves. I really mean it. Hang in there. Be strong.

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